I am still here!

I haven't blogged in forever! I've been so busy but I'm still around. I started working in February. It's been so hard. I love having a great job, but I can't even begin to tell you how much I miss my kids. I feel so accomplished but it's hard having to let someone know I can't work because I have a sick kids or that I'm not feeling well my self n

. The boys are already back in school! Mark is in the fourth grade, Alec is in 1st and Blake started preschool. Where has the time gone??

This year I've finally gotten a jump on my fall/ Halloween decor. Those have always been my favorite season and Holidays.  The boys are so excited, I'm just trying to soak up as much of their joy as I can. I don't know why I let my self fall Into such a slump but I'm here to say I'm taking back my favorite stuff. I want to be organized and happy and a better mom.

I'm ready for the holidays and I'm so ready for the cooler weather. The rain we had was amazing. I haven't seen rain like that since I was a kid. 

Anyways I'm back and hope to be a better blogger. I've missed all of your blogs :)

Going private

I've decided to make my blog private in the next month or so. If you read and want to stay on my list please leave me a comment or email/Facebook me. Thanks!

Evil has taken over

How do you say from today on, I will move forward? That from this moment I won't say mean and hurtful things and that today will be better...Today I will be better. My life is a mess and instead of pointing the finger, I will take responsibility and move forward..I just don't know right now..I'm filled with hurt and anger, but I have made choices..I've wronged people and I've hurt feelings and I don't think I can come back from this. Maybe I can come back stronger, but right now I just don't know.

Holy heck, I'm behind!

Wow, first off where did the summer go? Geez, I blinked and it was over. I'm not complaining because I'm ready for Fall but it just went so quick. The boys started last Monday and had a really great week. I miss them when they are gone, but I've noticed that I do get a lot more done. Well sometimes..Sometimes I catch up on a few episodes of what ever I'm loving at the moment. Which happens to be Mad Men. I'm sort of facinated by it. There is this whole romantic, sexy, scandalous thing going on. It takes place in the 60's and its fun to see how different things are compared to now. I love how original it is and what an awesome job they have done with the set and all of the vintage stuff that they've put into it. Its so crazy because back they EVERYONE smoked. Even the women, pregnant and smoking/drinking. Its just so different than now. Everything seemed so classy but at the same time there was a lot of scandal. School is also in full swing for me. I just started yesterday. I had signed up to take classes over the summer. Once I saw the syllabus, I knew I would not be able to keep up while having three kids at home and hubby gone most often.. I think I would have gotten behind and possible failed. Its unfortunate, because I would have loved to have them under my belt already but sometimes you just know your own limits. I want school to be a positive thing for me. I want to get ahead and not behind because I got overly excited and a little bit of a chip on my shoulder. I was able to test up in Math. Thankfully...But I'm so scared of math. I struggled starting in high school. I'm hoping being odlder and wiser I will be ok. I wish my brain understood math. I am lucky because I got the english lit stuff down..but I think I'd be happier being a math smartie:)Yesterday was my first class. It was all review and a pretest with NO calculator..Which makes me wonder because you can use it on the compass test. You know the one that reads how well you do in each area. The one that probably should not let you use it. Its over whelming...But at least I'm doing it. This semester brings Math, English and Psychology..and now I have to go to the college. Except for Psy. that one is online. I'm a little nervous...Hope I can keep up...Nerves are racing!

Quick Update

Yes its been FOREVER since I posted..I've been one busy girl! I finished my first semester ever of college.
That in itself was a chore. But now that I look back at the last 16 weeks I am so proud of myself. I was able to pull off A's in all 3 classes. Given they were fairly easy but I'm glad I was able to do it. I've signed up for two more summer classes. This time around will be English 102 and Psychology 245. They are more pre-requisites for my degree. Next semester I will run into a little bit of frustration though. Those darn math classes. To be able to take certain classes I have to be so far in my math. Since I'm starting at the bottom this will put me behind slightly. But that is ok, I'm doing it and thats what I needed to get going. School is out for summer!! I'm so excited and so proud of my boys. Next year I will have a 3rd grader and a Kindergartener!! Woohoo!! Alec is so excited to be starting Kindergarten. Makes me sad though. Just another time stamp as far as how fast time goes. Blake is doing great. He is talking so much and getting into even more of my stuff!! I can hear him right now singing Max and Ruby theme song. We've been busy outside already. We planted pumpkins, cantaloupe, and watermelon. We just noticed today that they sprouted. The kids are super excited. Now if I can just keep what ever is eating them out, we will be good. Some of our favorite shows are on too! We love America's got talent and Secret Millionare just to name a few. Also my guilty pleasure is the bachelorette:) and bachelor when it is on:) So nothing to big, I am trying to catch up on all of my favorite blogs. Its been weeks since I've even looked. I'm looking forward to a super summer!!

Loss of another friend

So I never really have anything to blog about..and I don't really want to bore you with my every day boringness..But I figured I would tell you about my sweet dog that we had to have put to sleep last night. When Brandon and I got our first house we didn't live there very long before we got a dog. He was working in Havasu on the day I went to the car wash to get my car washed. They had the cutest black lab there. He had been there for a few days and had just been hanging out. I just had to take him home with me. I told Brandon over the phone I had got a dog. I can still remember him and his tone when I told him I got a dog. "you got a dog?" he said..haha...I wanna say this was January of 2001. (he was 7 or 8 months old) That fall was when we got Sammy and they were instant friends. Jake was such a sweet dog. We had two big piles of dirt in our back yard and Jake had so much fun leveling both of them. He'd sniff and kick and dig. So much fun to watch. Sammy and Jake played for hours on end. A year ago we lost Sammy and I was so sad for Jake. Jake would always jump up and scratch on the door and look in the house when it was time to eat. He only barked when someone was in the ally and he would make this growl/ bark out of his mouth when you would talk to him. He had such a sweet spirit and would always put his paw on your leg or on your arm so you would pay attention to him. Sammy and Jake always would stick together when they would break out of the yard. I think it happened maybe a whole 5 times. But I was devastated every single time. Always so glad to get them back in one piece. Jake was so obnoxious to Sammy but it fit them as friends. I can picture him tugging on his fur and putting his mouth on him to chew and bite on him. I am really going to miss him. I think he had a stroke. He seemed fine yesterday. But last night he didn't come out to eat and was hididng in the bushes. He had gone blind instantly and could not get up. He also seemed very stiff. I could not let him suffer so we called the vet. We sat with him and he stayed very calm while we were there. He was so calm. I told him how much I loved him and how sorry I was that he was sick. After the vet put him to sleep he looked so peaceful and wasn't in pain anymore. I can't even read rainbow bridge without losing it. The yard feels so empty now. The wind blows and its strange. I don't see him in his dog house and he doesn't follow me around the yard anymore like he did. Its the subtle little things about him that I miss. I had him before I had kids, before I was a grown up. I hope he knows that I loved him. He was my buddy. I hope him and Sammy are in heaven running together and he doesn't feel I'm a traitor. I also hope to see him one day again.

Back to school (for me)

I finally finished my first week of online schooling. A few observations: It was harder than I thought. For some crazy reason I thought I would sail into it and get it done like a rock star...Boy was I wrong. The reading was monotonous. I had a hard time focusing and the kids seemed to know that I was trying to take care of something important. I have one pretty easy class. One that is easy but requires a lot of me. I felt very over whelmed. Now I am not going to let this get me down. But wow, I feel like waiting to go back has handicapped me in a sense. I think its just getting the grove down, but it was really hard. These classes I'm taking are online so I don't have the class room discusions like we normally would. We do have online discussions with other classmates. I am glad to be back and I need to power through this. I just took a big hit in my esteem this week. Perhaps a really good wake up call.