Did I speak or think to fast?

Some times I have to wonder if the joke is on me. Seriously, you all remember the last bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep at my house. Well things have been going good. We are ready for school to start. I've been doing my own research on going back to school. Things have been busy but I feel like I have my groove back a lil. Then Wham!?! I am talking to my hubbies other niece Cara. She is the sister to Bleep, who just moved out! She has been staying with her Grandpa for the past few years. She has been with Brandon's mom forever and ever. Until Brandon's estranged sister got out of jail and started inhabiting her home. Until his nephew got in trouble and got kicked out of his place with Brandon's other sister.
So Cara moves in with her Grandpa so she can get away from the drama at
her Grandma's. His health isn't the greatest but he has managed to take care of her and has enjoyed her being there for him. Recently he was admitted to the hospital 3rd time in the last 2weeks. He needs 24 hour care and is going to the Gardens. Sooooo, I get a call from Cara saying Her and Grandma want to come meet with us. Cara wants to know if she can move in with us. WHAT?!? Did they forget that I just had a nightmare move out of my house? I told them we would think about it. I don't want to make any quick decisions. That is what happened last time.

This niece is totally different than her sister but I just don't know. I'm angry with Brandon's mom for not trying to do things different and putting up with the things she puts up with. I know she isn't even happy in her own home. There are always people in and out and its just a bunch of bologna what she allows to go on. Brandon's niece just started 9th grade. She is a good girl a little needy, but a good girl. She and Trenton don't know who their dad is. With everything they have been through I think she is the one that is going to do well in life and stays out of trouble etc.
I feel bad because I don't want her to feel like she isn't wanted. But what about my family? We suffer to..rrrrrr!

New school year

Well the count down is on. We start school on Monday. I went to meet the teacher yesterday. I felt so out of place and awkward. I really hope that feeling goes away. Mark and Alec are both really excited. I don't know why I let it bother me so much but I do. I want my kids to be in the best place possible. I wanted them to go to the charter school so bad and now I'm scared and really missing the other school. We have been so blessed that they have been accepted so I don't want to seem ungrateful. I'm just nervous. I want them to make friends and be happy.
I did come to the conclusion last night that this has nothing to do with them and everything to do with me. They will do great. They will be happy where ever they are. Friendship didn't come easy to me in school. I don't know what made me so different but Jr. High was a nightmare. I'm so glad its over and that I don't have to do it again. In my head last night I was thinking that this was 19+ years ago and I'm still thinking about it?? The people that made me unhappy are spread all over the world and dealing with who knows what. I had a good cry and a good pray and feel like I was able to let it go. Now I just need to work on being more personable. Not let the fear of being alone get to me.