Moving Forward

What is it about change that makes us so uncomfortable? Is it moving into the unknown? Being afraid that once we get there we won't like it? I have thought and thought about going back to school. I've not made the decision for so long now because I really don't like changes. I'm happy in my little bubble. I enjoy doing things my way and not having to worry about the added stress of school. The question of going back to school has haunted me for a very long time. I always thought I'd go back. I got very comfortable in my routine with the boys. Not worrying about my future and what I would be doing. I always thought I had a lot of time to do all of this. I've watched my friends around me graduate and move into successful careers.Now I don't find my self unsuccessful (happily married, Mom to 3 boys) there is something missing. I don't feel like I've accomplished what I need to. I'm getting older and sometimes I think about what I would ever do if anything ever happened to my husband. How would I raise these 3 boys?? Thats something I never, never want to worry about but its a smart thing to consider. Also what happens to me when my boys are grown and out of the house? Who will I be then? I will always be their mom, but one day they won't need me. (as much:) ) So I've taken a few steps into moving forward. I've done a lot of research on going back to school. I've done my financial aid and the biggest most scary step....I took my compass test!!!! I think the scariest thing for me was that darn test!!! I was so scared to take it, its really held me back a lot of the time I've spent putting going back to school off. I got a 91 on my reading. An 81 on my writing. Math I didn't do so hot on. I'm going to retest on it once I study a bit more. I think I can test higher, at least I hope so. Realistically I'm at the point that if I don't test higher then I really do need to take it over again so I can do well on future math classes. I probably won't get going until the Spring semester but I'm really excited to be this far. I'm just proud of my self and for the first time in a very long time I feel intelligent again. I can be a mom and go back to school, all the while having the best of both worlds!

Something new

Both of my boys have been accepted into the Charter School in our area.  I'm happy, excited, nervous and concerned.  When I originally applied and Mark didn't get in, I was heart broken.  After a few years at our other school I really got over it and got quite attached. When Alec got in I was excited and nervous all over again. I was worried because after Alec got in Mark's chances would increase a lot.  But I really thought he would not get in and I would have a year to decide if it was really what I wanted or not.  A chance to feel out the school and try things. What did I have to lose? So a few weeks later I got a call saying Mark had been accepted. Of course I got all worried and concerned. Why is it that when we think we want something so bad and then we get it, we are apprehensive? I remember being sooo heartbroken when Mark wasn't accepted. So why am I worried now?  I know that I don't want him to attend the JR High school here.  Things have gotten bad and the charter school seems to have a pretty good handle on it. So I have a few weeks to decide.  Mark wants to try it out.  I just want to make sure he gets the best education. I loved his teacher last year and was looking forward to another year.
I guess time will tell and we shall see!

Where have I been??

Sorry I keep coming up MIA.  My home computer has decided to work when it wants to so I have to borrow my hubby's when I can.  He uses it for work and its hard to sneak away. It seems most days he doesn't have to be on it until I need it..but thats ok.  I have been getting a lot more done around the house and not getting on facebook as much.  Lately Facebook seems sort of blah to me anyways.  Some days I get crabby and don't want to see the mindless jokes or the over posters who POST everything.  There are days when I don't have much to say so I don't.  I try to post good and positive things that will hopefully affect me like they do others.

So where have I been ...well I've been swimming a  lot lately and I'm excited about that.  Normally I don't enjoy doing those sort of things because its hard work.  Packing everyone up, making sure we don't forget anything. Getting so dirty I can't stand it...but lately I seem to be over that and have enjoyed it.  Our friends Larry and Kat live in Mohave Valley so we go down to either the river with them or to their home owners association pool.  Its been great.  They are children people so I get to enjoy my self not chasing the kids the entire time.  Which in that respect the kids have LOVED going and have been SO good.  We have a great cove we go to off of the river and its just perfect.

I applied for financial aid and am thinking about going to cosmetology school. I have wanted to go forever and ever and have really been feeling down on myself that I didn't have a career.  My hubby brought me a pamphlet from All Beauty College in Bullhead City and we started talking about it a lot more. So I decided to apply and see where I get. Now I just have to figure out rides and daycare for my kiddos and I think its a go.  If I start August  I will be done in July of next year.  I'm excited, nervous and really hoping it works out.
It isn't set in stone yet, but something is going to happen very soon!

More thoughts

Did I ever mention I was 16 when I met Brandon? Kind of strange but it happened.  I know he hated that I was so young. He was 21.  He didn't like to take me anywhere because of my age. I guess now that I'm older I can agree. When he turned 22 I turned 17 nine days later.  It still wasn't great, but it was a tad bit better...Once he turned 23 and I turned 18 it wasn't that bad at all.  Two weeks after I graduated we were married. My dad had been working out of North Carolina and was only supposed to be visiting for my graduation.  So we planned the wedding around his trip here etc. He ended up moving back to Kingman so it all worked out anyways.  I'm not sure we would have waited given the situation....Now I'm 30 and he is 35 the ages are just a number that don't really matter..

So now my 16 year old niece is interested in a 22 year old guy..She will be 17 in September...Guess what, I HATE it..I mean he seems like a nice guy..but he is 22.  What interest does a 22 year old boy have in a 16 year old girl?! Then I think back to my situation and I remember how in Love I was...But things were so different then.  I was different, Brandon was different..He was so respectful of me...The joys of parenthood....
I keep telling her that every decision she makes has a consequence..I hope if I keep beating this into her head she will think about it..The sad thing is that this girl has seen more in her life than anyone at her age should ever have to.  Starting from the time she was a baby..Its just not cool...So here I sit pondering the situation and hoping she will think about all the things I have told her.

Just a regular day in the neighborhood

Wow, today is so beautiful outside.  I've gotten my car washed, cleaned out..(its nice to be able to see the kids) cleaned on some of the garage..Its been a good day!
Here are some random cute photos:)

Just hanging out watching tv in his gear!

This looks like a good place for a nap

The schwans man gave me an ice cream and MAN it was good!!

*Update* First Grade

Mark said his first day at school was "The best day ever!"