Insecure...

I don't know what it is about this pregnancy, but I am so insecure..I feel good, but worry about the after affects of a 3rd pregnancy...Its crazy...Thus far I am 21 weeks, getting ready to roll over on Wednesday. I have already gained 17lbs...I have no self control..its terrible..All I want to do is eat junk..I fight it all the time, every day..Its like an addiction or something..I have gladly nursed both of my boys and will do the same with the newbie..That seems to be the key to my weight loss. I just can't help but be worried about how I will be after baby number 3 gets here..I think this is when it starts to kick in..the fact that I will have 3 children. I have managed to slim down with the other two, but still have my concerns about my self and how the hubbie will view me. Luckily he loves me not matter what, curves and all. He seems to be able to embrace the changes I go through with each pregnancy..I guess thats my motivation for my after baby weight loss. I thank god that he loves me no matter what. Some men never get over the changes that happen to their wives and some just love us more. Thankfully I have one of those "i love you no matter what"

We had Mark's 5th party this weekend..It was crazy at my house. I've never had so many kids here ever. He had a blast though..It turned out well and he was very happy with the outcome.
Now I debate the ever lasting debate about whether or not we do a party every year or not...Its alot of work and alot of craziness..Do people ever get tired of going to birthday parties and social events? I think so..So we will see..I am always open to ideas and improvement!