Holy heck, I'm behind!

Wow, first off where did the summer go? Geez, I blinked and it was over. I'm not complaining because I'm ready for Fall but it just went so quick. The boys started last Monday and had a really great week. I miss them when they are gone, but I've noticed that I do get a lot more done. Well sometimes..Sometimes I catch up on a few episodes of what ever I'm loving at the moment. Which happens to be Mad Men. I'm sort of facinated by it. There is this whole romantic, sexy, scandalous thing going on. It takes place in the 60's and its fun to see how different things are compared to now. I love how original it is and what an awesome job they have done with the set and all of the vintage stuff that they've put into it. Its so crazy because back they EVERYONE smoked. Even the women, pregnant and smoking/drinking. Its just so different than now. Everything seemed so classy but at the same time there was a lot of scandal. School is also in full swing for me. I just started yesterday. I had signed up to take classes over the summer. Once I saw the syllabus, I knew I would not be able to keep up while having three kids at home and hubby gone most often.. I think I would have gotten behind and possible failed. Its unfortunate, because I would have loved to have them under my belt already but sometimes you just know your own limits. I want school to be a positive thing for me. I want to get ahead and not behind because I got overly excited and a little bit of a chip on my shoulder. I was able to test up in Math. Thankfully...But I'm so scared of math. I struggled starting in high school. I'm hoping being odlder and wiser I will be ok. I wish my brain understood math. I am lucky because I got the english lit stuff down..but I think I'd be happier being a math smartie:)Yesterday was my first class. It was all review and a pretest with NO calculator..Which makes me wonder because you can use it on the compass test. You know the one that reads how well you do in each area. The one that probably should not let you use it. Its over whelming...But at least I'm doing it. This semester brings Math, English and Psychology..and now I have to go to the college. Except for Psy. that one is online. I'm a little nervous...Hope I can keep up...Nerves are racing!

Quick Update

Yes its been FOREVER since I posted..I've been one busy girl! I finished my first semester ever of college.
That in itself was a chore. But now that I look back at the last 16 weeks I am so proud of myself. I was able to pull off A's in all 3 classes. Given they were fairly easy but I'm glad I was able to do it. I've signed up for two more summer classes. This time around will be English 102 and Psychology 245. They are more pre-requisites for my degree. Next semester I will run into a little bit of frustration though. Those darn math classes. To be able to take certain classes I have to be so far in my math. Since I'm starting at the bottom this will put me behind slightly. But that is ok, I'm doing it and thats what I needed to get going. School is out for summer!! I'm so excited and so proud of my boys. Next year I will have a 3rd grader and a Kindergartener!! Woohoo!! Alec is so excited to be starting Kindergarten. Makes me sad though. Just another time stamp as far as how fast time goes. Blake is doing great. He is talking so much and getting into even more of my stuff!! I can hear him right now singing Max and Ruby theme song. We've been busy outside already. We planted pumpkins, cantaloupe, and watermelon. We just noticed today that they sprouted. The kids are super excited. Now if I can just keep what ever is eating them out, we will be good. Some of our favorite shows are on too! We love America's got talent and Secret Millionare just to name a few. Also my guilty pleasure is the bachelorette:) and bachelor when it is on:) So nothing to big, I am trying to catch up on all of my favorite blogs. Its been weeks since I've even looked. I'm looking forward to a super summer!!

Loss of another friend

So I never really have anything to blog about..and I don't really want to bore you with my every day boringness..But I figured I would tell you about my sweet dog that we had to have put to sleep last night. When Brandon and I got our first house we didn't live there very long before we got a dog. He was working in Havasu on the day I went to the car wash to get my car washed. They had the cutest black lab there. He had been there for a few days and had just been hanging out. I just had to take him home with me. I told Brandon over the phone I had got a dog. I can still remember him and his tone when I told him I got a dog. "you got a dog?" he said..haha...I wanna say this was January of 2001. (he was 7 or 8 months old) That fall was when we got Sammy and they were instant friends. Jake was such a sweet dog. We had two big piles of dirt in our back yard and Jake had so much fun leveling both of them. He'd sniff and kick and dig. So much fun to watch. Sammy and Jake played for hours on end. A year ago we lost Sammy and I was so sad for Jake. Jake would always jump up and scratch on the door and look in the house when it was time to eat. He only barked when someone was in the ally and he would make this growl/ bark out of his mouth when you would talk to him. He had such a sweet spirit and would always put his paw on your leg or on your arm so you would pay attention to him. Sammy and Jake always would stick together when they would break out of the yard. I think it happened maybe a whole 5 times. But I was devastated every single time. Always so glad to get them back in one piece. Jake was so obnoxious to Sammy but it fit them as friends. I can picture him tugging on his fur and putting his mouth on him to chew and bite on him. I am really going to miss him. I think he had a stroke. He seemed fine yesterday. But last night he didn't come out to eat and was hididng in the bushes. He had gone blind instantly and could not get up. He also seemed very stiff. I could not let him suffer so we called the vet. We sat with him and he stayed very calm while we were there. He was so calm. I told him how much I loved him and how sorry I was that he was sick. After the vet put him to sleep he looked so peaceful and wasn't in pain anymore. I can't even read rainbow bridge without losing it. The yard feels so empty now. The wind blows and its strange. I don't see him in his dog house and he doesn't follow me around the yard anymore like he did. Its the subtle little things about him that I miss. I had him before I had kids, before I was a grown up. I hope he knows that I loved him. He was my buddy. I hope him and Sammy are in heaven running together and he doesn't feel I'm a traitor. I also hope to see him one day again.

Back to school (for me)

I finally finished my first week of online schooling. A few observations: It was harder than I thought. For some crazy reason I thought I would sail into it and get it done like a rock star...Boy was I wrong. The reading was monotonous. I had a hard time focusing and the kids seemed to know that I was trying to take care of something important. I have one pretty easy class. One that is easy but requires a lot of me. I felt very over whelmed. Now I am not going to let this get me down. But wow, I feel like waiting to go back has handicapped me in a sense. I think its just getting the grove down, but it was really hard. These classes I'm taking are online so I don't have the class room discusions like we normally would. We do have online discussions with other classmates. I am glad to be back and I need to power through this. I just took a big hit in my esteem this week. Perhaps a really good wake up call.

Sincerity

I think a little bit of sincerity goes a long way. Lately I've seen so many people just going through the motions and it really bugs me. When did life become so busy that we can't genuinely take interest in people. There are so many people out there that ask you how you are. But how many actually care or take interest. Its hard to find good friends. Even harder when everyone is so busy with their own lives. I guess I do know exactly how this is. I get busy and there are days that when I don't have to leave the house I don't. I sometimes wonder where I would be if I didn't have the few close friends I have managed to hang on to. I guess I'm very dependent on my husband and now that he is so busy with work and school I am about to go mad! Maybe thats why I'm noticing how insincere people are or can be. I probably ready way to much into it. I have a lot more time to think now that the hubby is so busy. I don't know that I could be single for very long or be a single mom. Right now all the kids needs are met by me and its tough. A little alone time goes a long way. Right now I'm working on getting my college stuff in order. Did you know they are enrolling for the spring classes already? WOW! Of course there have been a few hiccups but nothing to bad. I'm working on the financial aid aspect right now. Its being held up because around 15 years ago I took some classes with a friend. They were dual enrollment and they were being offered for free. I was still in high school and not really ready to take them seriously. I wanted to get the credits to graduate early but didn't have to have the classes. I also feel that being in high school and at the age that you aren't taken seriously I was misinformed about a lot of things. Like when you take a class, drop it if you do not intend to stay. Then it does not go on your records as a fail or affect your GPA. No clue..or buying your books...I was a poor high school student. My parents had money but I did not..haha...I didn't even know I had to have books. I mean how retarded was that? But I had never taken college classes and had never been walked through it and honestly I don't think they ever told us. So now that I'm older I know better. Its a learned thing and I'm ready to go, but I have to have to have an appeal for those classes that I didn't finish saying why..Do you think they will listen to the fact that I was a retard?? mmmm, probably not..but its just another step to move forward. I'm ready and will get there sooner or later... My challenge for you today is when you are talking to someone really be there. Take interest in them. You never know what they may be dealing with on the inside. They could be hurting really bad or just need that kick to help their self esteem.

I'm still here

I am still alive.!!! I can give you several reasons why I haven't been blogging, but here are the two most crucial. First off, my computer is in the shop. I've had issues for a while now and finally took it to get fixed. I also have a lap top that works when it wants too. Some times it charges sometimes it doesn't. Its very annoying. So some days I don't have a computer at all. Its strange, but I've noticed how much more I get done when I don't have a computer taking up my time as I sit and surf. Its crazy how fast an hour can go by when you are in surf mode. My second reason is I have writers block something terrible. I don't really have any thing exciting to blog about. My days seem to fly by in a blur but nothing to crazy happening. My hubby has been crazy busy with work and school. He started going to school to for HVAC.(Heating and cooling) So he works all day long and then has classes at night. Most of the time other wise he is spending studying. It will take him a year to get his certificate and then he is going to go for an associates in business I think. He is so smart it blows me away. I hope to have that much success when I get back to it.. My schooling is still a work in progress. I can't start my classes until the spring because of timing. But Its going to happen. Although as time goes by its really easy to talk my self out of going. Its strange how if you don't act right away its easy to lose momentum. I feel that way sometimes. Especially first thing in the morning. Mark, Alec and Blake are doing great. Mark is loving school and doing very well. I fight with Alec on going to school every Monday. The rest of the week he is fine. Blake is still running amuck. He is so funny. Growing so much and saying new words every day. I think my favorite that he says is Salsa. Its too cute. They have all 3 had the crud that comes and goes with the cold and warm weather. 2 days ago I woke up with a tickle in my throat and now I'm feeling kind of blah. Blake also turned 2 on the 20th of the September. Time is just flying by way to quick... I've been doing a lot of deal shopping and price matching on stuff..I make out my list weekly by looking at the sale papers and then I hit Wal-Mart. Its kind of annoying sometimes and seems like a lot of work, but I end up saving like crazy. Its so worth it. I've also realized that when the sale papers are dropped off on my street usually its only half of the street that gets one. Not sure why. So sometimes its my side, some times its the other side and sometimes its no one. I haven't figured out the mystery to that one yet. So yes, I am still here. I do read your posts and sometimes I don't comment but I am reading!!!

Moving Forward

What is it about change that makes us so uncomfortable? Is it moving into the unknown? Being afraid that once we get there we won't like it? I have thought and thought about going back to school. I've not made the decision for so long now because I really don't like changes. I'm happy in my little bubble. I enjoy doing things my way and not having to worry about the added stress of school. The question of going back to school has haunted me for a very long time. I always thought I'd go back. I got very comfortable in my routine with the boys. Not worrying about my future and what I would be doing. I always thought I had a lot of time to do all of this. I've watched my friends around me graduate and move into successful careers.Now I don't find my self unsuccessful (happily married, Mom to 3 boys) there is something missing. I don't feel like I've accomplished what I need to. I'm getting older and sometimes I think about what I would ever do if anything ever happened to my husband. How would I raise these 3 boys?? Thats something I never, never want to worry about but its a smart thing to consider. Also what happens to me when my boys are grown and out of the house? Who will I be then? I will always be their mom, but one day they won't need me. (as much:) ) So I've taken a few steps into moving forward. I've done a lot of research on going back to school. I've done my financial aid and the biggest most scary step....I took my compass test!!!! I think the scariest thing for me was that darn test!!! I was so scared to take it, its really held me back a lot of the time I've spent putting going back to school off. I got a 91 on my reading. An 81 on my writing. Math I didn't do so hot on. I'm going to retest on it once I study a bit more. I think I can test higher, at least I hope so. Realistically I'm at the point that if I don't test higher then I really do need to take it over again so I can do well on future math classes. I probably won't get going until the Spring semester but I'm really excited to be this far. I'm just proud of my self and for the first time in a very long time I feel intelligent again. I can be a mom and go back to school, all the while having the best of both worlds!